5 years.

22. january 2013 at 17:39 | Amaya |  2013 n.l.

O vyššia sila, o vyššia sila, o nie.
Ako. Som. Len. Mohla. Zabudnúť. Z-A-B-U-D-N-Ú-Ť. No freaking way.
Ja len že.. je 22. januára. Mohla som... mohli mi napadnúť. Už tretí deň precitávam s otázkou, že kto má dnes narodeniny, a v podstate nikto a zároveň...
je to deň,keď Heath Ledger zomrel.
Už mám vysvetlenie pre moje čudné správanie v škole. Zmeny nálad (nie, kdeže, končí mi cyklus, to nie tým), veľká dávka energie, ktorá mala byť investovaná do telesnej, a možno nie; "odrazu"-pozdravy (chudáci moji..), a dolorizmus = sebatrýznenie.
Nie, to posledné som si vymyslela, nie som Emil Lukáč. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Ako by som mohla byť, keď milujem veľkomestá a cestovanie?
...ale nie o tom chcem.

Je to piaty rok bez neho. A možno som s ním "nebola", ako by sa patrilo pri fanúšikoch, chýba mi. Chýba mi jeho úsmev, aj keď ho vidím na mojej malej obrazovke, monitore, a hreje ma pri srdcie..že bol šťastný. A možno aj je. Kto vie.


Tisíckrát som videla "10 things I hate about you" a tisíckrát som to s ním prežívala. Nie, príliš sentimentu.
...
Neviem to opísať. Teda. Už je preč. Už dlho.
A...stále mi srdce poskočí, keď počujem jeho meno, hlas, keď ho vidím, ten jeho austrálsky smiech (okej, možno nie austrálsky, ale mal taký prízvuk, prečo by nebolo mať aj smiech dialekt?!). Už sa pletiem, už sa zamotávam.
Ešte tento mesiac som pozerala jeho posledné interviewy, a naozaj mi bolo smutno. Zisťovala som detaily a zaslúžil si žiť. Ale bola to jeho voľba. A dokonca mi bolo ľúto jeho manželky, ktorá sa tiež vyjadrila... a boo cítiť.. že ju to bolí. Horšie na tom bude ich dcéra. Maličká, maličká.


Quick last leave before the lights come on.

I really do miss you.
 


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